Susan Henderson - Articles

One of the most limiting core beliefs foisted upon us starting in our childhood is that in order to be successful at anything, we must choose one thing and stick with it. This advice was generally offered in good faith from those trying to be supportive. However, that seemingly positive belief has wreaked havoc to varying degrees in the lives of those of us who were never meant to choose just one thing. We are just not wired that way. So we came to believe there must be something wrong with us. This belief has been very limiting to me.

When I realized my limiting core beliefs were instrumental in holding me back from accomplishing my desires, I wanted to know how to stop that from occurring over and over. I did not want it to be a wrestling match. I wanted them gone with no angst and no long arduous process.

So ever true to the old adage that "when you are ready the teacher appears," I found out about Byron Katie and what she calls "The Work." The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to make a significant shift that can change your life forever. Here I share with you how I applied The Work to this limiting core belief that I think many readers here have in common.

Limiting Core Belief:
To be successful, I must choose just one thing and stick with it.

Question One: Is this true?
Yes. There seems to be plenty of proof that this is true. It is what parents, teachers, career counselors, and others told me or implied most my life.

Question Two: Can I absolutely know that this is true?
No I can’t. There are people who are successful juggling a multitude of interests.

Question Three: How do I react when I think this limiting core belief?
Angry, frustrated, sad, claustrophobic or fenced-in, and lacking somehow. I would be bored out of my mind. It is impossible for me to pick just one thing, so there must be something wrong with me. I even feel kind of rebellious – no one can make me choose just one thing!

Question Four: Who would I be without that thought?
I would be free to choose a multitude of things I love to put together my version of a successful life. Without that limiting thought I am lighter and happier. I feel like I can breathe again. Anything is possible. Whew, I feel like I just took off a girdle.

Turn the underlying belief around:
To be successful, I must choose many things and stick with them only for as long as I choose.
To be unsuccessful (and miserable), I must choose just one thing and stick with it.

Are these turnarounds as true or truer than the original belief?
Absolutely!

If you would like to learn more about Byron Katie and The Work, visit her website at: www.thework.org. I highly recommend her book Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life.