Tips for Introverts Venturing Out in an Extroverted World
What's an Innie? Are you one?
According to Marti Olsen Laney in her groundbreaking book The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World, introversion is a type of temperament. We are born with it; it is in our genes. She writes: "It is not the same as shyness or having a withdrawn personality, and it is not pathological. It is also not something you can change. But you can learn to work with it, not against it."
Extroverts (Outies) outnumber Introverts (Innies) three to one. Our cultural bias towards the outer-directed characteristics of this type of temperament has caused many an Introvert (Innies) to believe something is wrong with them starting in childhood where the rewards are given for action and speaking up - such as class participation as 25% of your grade. The truth is one is not better than the other. The primary difference between Innies and Outies is where their source of energy comes from.
Outies are energized by the outer world and gain that energy by participating in activities outside of themselves. They enjoy talking, socializing and working around people; feeling refreshed by the contact. This is their fuel.
Innies, however, refuel their energy by the internal world of impressions, ideas, emotions, and thinking things through. Although they may like people very much, just being in crowds, classes and noisy social functions can be draining and they feel the need to escape to a quiet place to refuel.
Holidays are probably the most stressful time for Innies with crowded shopping malls, office parties, and family gatherings, large or small. You do not have to attend every function that comes along. But if you can't avoid--or you do want to attend--a gathering that you know will drain you, here are some tips offered from The Introvert Advantage to conserve your energy before you go.
* Don't schedule too many social occasions in the same week.
* Take a walk, read, nap, or sit in nature before the get-together.
* Drink plenty of water and take deep breaths when you feel anxious about the party.
* Eat some protein to boost your energy before you leave home.
* Have the sitter come early so you can get ready without a hassle.
* Listen to a relaxation tape of calming music on the way to the party.
* Set aside time the following morning to recharge.
Since I am a raging Innie, I have to 'gird my loins' in order to get out amongst the masses. I know my limits and I do strategize a plan before I go. Once there I tend to find a place to plant myself and stay in one spot observing or entering into some deeper and more interesting conversations with whoever may show up. If things get too overwhelming, there is always the option of a bathroom break for quiet and a few deep, calming breaths. When I have had enough, I take my leave sometimes saying goodbyes and sometimes not.
According to Marti Olsen Laney in her groundbreaking book The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World, introversion is a type of temperament. We are born with it; it is in our genes. She writes: "It is not the same as shyness or having a withdrawn personality, and it is not pathological. It is also not something you can change. But you can learn to work with it, not against it."
Extroverts (Outies) outnumber Introverts (Innies) three to one. Our cultural bias towards the outer-directed characteristics of this type of temperament has caused many an Introvert (Innies) to believe something is wrong with them starting in childhood where the rewards are given for action and speaking up - such as class participation as 25% of your grade. The truth is one is not better than the other. The primary difference between Innies and Outies is where their source of energy comes from.
Outies are energized by the outer world and gain that energy by participating in activities outside of themselves. They enjoy talking, socializing and working around people; feeling refreshed by the contact. This is their fuel.
Innies, however, refuel their energy by the internal world of impressions, ideas, emotions, and thinking things through. Although they may like people very much, just being in crowds, classes and noisy social functions can be draining and they feel the need to escape to a quiet place to refuel.
Holidays are probably the most stressful time for Innies with crowded shopping malls, office parties, and family gatherings, large or small. You do not have to attend every function that comes along. But if you can't avoid--or you do want to attend--a gathering that you know will drain you, here are some tips offered from The Introvert Advantage to conserve your energy before you go.
* Don't schedule too many social occasions in the same week.
* Take a walk, read, nap, or sit in nature before the get-together.
* Drink plenty of water and take deep breaths when you feel anxious about the party.
* Eat some protein to boost your energy before you leave home.
* Have the sitter come early so you can get ready without a hassle.
* Listen to a relaxation tape of calming music on the way to the party.
* Set aside time the following morning to recharge.
Since I am a raging Innie, I have to 'gird my loins' in order to get out amongst the masses. I know my limits and I do strategize a plan before I go. Once there I tend to find a place to plant myself and stay in one spot observing or entering into some deeper and more interesting conversations with whoever may show up. If things get too overwhelming, there is always the option of a bathroom break for quiet and a few deep, calming breaths. When I have had enough, I take my leave sometimes saying goodbyes and sometimes not.
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