The Successful Dilettante
September 20, 2006           Issue 6
Editor: Susan Henderson,
Visit our website at: ht


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How to Remove Those Pesky Limiting Core Beliefs Forever

One of the most limiting core beliefs foisted upon us starting in our childhood is that in order to be successful at anything, we must choose one thing and stick with it.  This advice was generally offered in good faith from those trying to be supportive.  However, that seemingly positive belief has wreaked havoc to varying degrees in the lives of those of us who were never meant to choose just one thing.  We are just not wired that way.  So we came to believe there must be something wrong with us.  This belief has been very limiting to me.

When I realized my limiting core beliefs were instrumental in holding me back from accomplishing my desires, I wanted to know how to stop that from occurring over and over.  I did not want it to be a wrestling match.  I wanted them gone with no angst and no long arduous process.  So ever true to the old adage that "when you are ready the teacher appears," I found out
about Byron Katie and what she calls "The Work."  The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to make a significant shift that can change your life forever.  Here I share with you how I applied The Work to this limiting core belief that I think many readers here have in common. 

Limiting Core Belief:
To be successful, I must choose just one thing and stick with it.

Question One:  Is this true?
Yes. There seems to be plenty of proof that this is true.  It is what parents, teachers, career counselors, and others told me or implied most my life.

Question Two:  Can I absolutely know that this is true?
No I canít.  There are people who are successful juggling a multitude of interests. 

Question Three:  How do I react when I think this limiting core belief?
Angry, frustrated, sad, claustrophobic or fenced-in, and lacking somehow.  I would be bored out of my mind.  It is impossible for me to pick just one thing, so there must be something wrong with me.  I even feel kind of rebellious - no one can make me choose just one thing!

Question Four:  Who would I be without that thought?
I would be free to choose a multitude of things I love to put together my version of a successful life.  Without that limiting thought I am lighter and happier.  I feel like I can breathe again.  Anything is possible.  Whew, I feel like I just took off a girdle.

Turn the underlying belief around:
To be successful, I must choose many things and stick with them only for as long as I choose.  To be unsuccessful (and miserable), I must choose just one thing and stick with it.

Are these turnarounds as true or truer than the original belief?

If you would like learn more about Byron Katie and The Work, visit her website at:  I highly recommend her book Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life.

Featured Guest:  Eolake Stobblehouse

I am pleased to present todayís featured guest Danish photographer, writer, painter, and web entrepreneur Eolake Stobblehouse.  I recently googled this funny, multi-talented renaissance man with the weird name and got a results return of 33,600.  Heís got to be one of the most prolific creators on the internet with several web sites of his own all concerned with creativity or aesthetics.  He says:  "My life's ambition is an understanding of how art and aesthetics work.  What is this thing we call beauty, why does it affect us so profoundly?"  Visit his websites listed in the final paragraph below to see the wonderful results of his quest. 

Q: When did you come to realize that you would be happiest doing a multitude of things rather than choosing just one career path?

I never really realized it, actually.  It was not long ago that I bitterly wished I could just pick one thing and get going for real.  It was bettered a ton by coming across the philosophies of Barbara Sher (scanners) and Margaret Lobenstine (Renaissance Souls).  I then realized that having multiple interests is not necessarily a malfunction.  Working with that a little has made me a lot more relaxed about it.

Q: How do you balance your multiple interests into a meaningful career?

My main interests are writing, photography, and communications media.  I have dabbled in many creative areas, including painting, drawing, and music.  In my webtrepreneur (web entrepreneur) job, I get to use my skills and knowledge of photography, writing, design, and communications.  I make a little money occasionally selling my writing as e-books, or my photography.  But to be honest I am not certain Iíd like to have writing or photography as my main income - it might take the fun out of it.

I am fortunate to have created a "day job" that is fun, not a huge amount of work, and earns good money.  I host a membership-style website that features artistic nude photos (  I buy photographs from many photographers around the world and sell memberships to the public, who appreciate tasteful nude photography for the beauty of it.  I am publisher, editor, staff writer, designer, and webmaster.

Since my main passion is communication, the Internet is a total blessing for me.  The very first time somebody told me about this new thing called a "Web Site" in 1994, I said immediately, "I want one! "  To reach a worldwide audience for pennies, in seconds, was way better than anything I could have dreamed up.

Being a webtrepreneur fits my "renaissance soul" complexion well.  I am just good enough with Photoshop to use it for my own limited purposes.  The same goes for web design, editing, and so on.  I have become just good enough in the various areas that I did not have to hire anybody to do it, which helped my bottom line enormously and created challenge and variety for me as well.

Q: So how do you manage your day? Do you make a plan?

Nope!  Never.  When people ask me what I am going to do for the rest of the day or weekend or whatever, I never have a specific answer.  The best I can come up with is, "Well, like usual Iíll probably work a little at what strikes me, answer email, then read a little, then eat and watch part of a movie or sitcom on DVD, then answer more email, then take a walk, then Ö whatever I feel like, basically."  One person hearing this said to his friend, "That is the kind of life the rest of us dream of having after we retire!"

Q: What people, books or programs have influenced you?

Stuart Wildeís book, The Trick to Money is Having Some, is one of my favorites.

Nicholas Negroponteís book, Being Digital, is about the great advantage being digital brings to communication.

Ken Evoy has been a big source of information about selling on the web. (

Silvia Hartmannís work with energy healing, EmoTrance, is very important (, as is her book on EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) based on Gary Craigís work (

Q: Do you have any advice to share that will help our readers in their quest?

If you look back in history, it becomes clear that times are not only changing, but they are changing at a dizzying pace.  It is hard to give any advice that may not be obsolete next month.

In such times it is vitally important to keep studying and learning, and not too narrowly.  Some people go with a formal education, but I have always preferred self-teaching - reading books, basically.  You can also get a spectacular amount of ready and brief information on the Web with sites like, for instance.

Also, for myself I have found it important to learn to not get too stuck in any ideas or beliefs.  Some of my most basic beliefs of just a few years I have had to give up.  It is not an easy process, but an important one.  Donít be too damn sure of anything.  Keep your mind nimble and changeable.

Keep looking for longer horizons.  Every so often, look at the biggest picture of your life that you can perceive.  Challenge your goals, values, and beliefs.  If some of them seem painful to challenge, maybe there is work there to be done.

Visit: to learn more about Eolake Stobblehouse - his art, photography, and writing.  You will find links there to his other websites, as well.  This incredibly generous guy even offers a free online philosophical course in creativity for artists of all mediums.  Check it out at  For his interesting and entertaining musings on life, aesthetics, and technology visit his blog at

© 2006-2010 Susan Henderson, All rights reserved.
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